Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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