i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
