There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
