We won't sleep together?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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