I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
