Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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