You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
