mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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