spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
