I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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