my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The adults are the big ones right?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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