I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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