Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
