The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
