He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
