It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
