hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
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BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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