How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
