What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
