you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He? As in you personified your dick?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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