YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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