I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My bed smells like the plague
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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