Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
