Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
