we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
