So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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