well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
