how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
