so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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