she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize