From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
