I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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