38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
