Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Every concussion has its silver lining
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Randomize
