I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize