your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
