Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
