We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
