it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
