I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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