I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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