I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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