Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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