I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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