9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just high enough for therapy.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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