Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
