im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
