I hate all girls vehemently.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
