I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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