your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
