Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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