even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize