I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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