STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
