Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
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