i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
please come you make the beer taste better
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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