ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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