he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
