There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
