We won't sleep together?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
