So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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