Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
