I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
