question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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