Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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