we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
