Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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