Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I like my sex mixed with concussions.

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  (858): I like my sex mixed with concussions. http://tfl.nu/qysd
  Replies (6) Good night (1104) Bad night (640)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  tod's in jail

  (863): View more from Florida

  he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.

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  (407): tod's in jail (863): he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am. http://tfl.nu/355g
  Replies (11) Good night (2554) Bad night (832)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.

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  (240): I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/grua
  Replies (20) Good night (2759) Bad night (4428)
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  (530): View more from California

  There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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  (530): There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool. http://tfl.nu/gbzx
  Replies (16) Good night (6436) Bad night (1207)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa

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  (847): Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa http://tfl.nu/xcft
  Replies (2) Good night (2167) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join

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  (772): No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join http://tfl.nu/0bbm
  Replies (2) Good night (2913) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.

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  (775): I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question. http://tfl.nu/abym
  Replies (7) Good night (2809) Bad night (1002)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities

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  (817): But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities http://tfl.nu/pt4w
  Replies (10) Good night (2522) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.

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  (610): Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates. http://tfl.nu/faj1
  Replies (5) Good night (2529) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...

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  (440): Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits... http://tfl.nu/u2u5
  Replies (3) Good night (921) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy

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  (701): All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy http://tfl.nu/indb
  Replies (5) Good night (384) Bad night (559)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!

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  (727): Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW! http://tfl.nu/6dh9
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...

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  (512): I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously... http://tfl.nu/ew5g
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.

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  (941): That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that. http://tfl.nu/m9pn
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.

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  (402): He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down. http://tfl.nu/utxf
  Replies (0) Good night (491) Bad night (120)

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