Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave

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(763): Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave http://tfl.nu/o1tg

Replies (3) Good night (2868) Bad night (893)
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(815): View more from Illinois

my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves

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(815): my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves http://tfl.nu/kwdc

Replies (28) Good night (5328) Bad night (1150)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.

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(334): Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram. http://tfl.nu/7u9p

Replies (2) Good night (1730) Bad night (850)
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(+61): View more from Australia

she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.

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(+61): she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth. http://tfl.nu/joaz

Replies (3) Good night (1376) Bad night (818)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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(615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g

Replies (5) Good night (2333) Bad night (1037)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high

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(814): You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high http://tfl.nu/8t28

Replies (7) Good night (1369) Bad night (650)
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(206): View more from Washington

It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.

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(206): It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights. http://tfl.nu/5zul

Replies (5) Good night (700) Bad night (633)
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(574): View more from Indiana

No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does

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(574): No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does http://tfl.nu/khj9

Replies (8) Good night (1084) Bad night (769)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF

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(202): Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF http://tfl.nu/zpe8

Replies (2) Good night (935) Bad night (473)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there

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(402): You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there http://tfl.nu/v9qy

Replies (2) Good night (1633) Bad night (476)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.

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(706): I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose. http://tfl.nu/d385

Replies (6) Good night (645) Bad night (840)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them

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(603): I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them http://tfl.nu/lutq

Replies (8) Good night (660) Bad night (455)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night

(314): View more from Missouri

Welcome to 22

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(636): I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night (314): Welcome to 22 http://tfl.nu/2vo1

Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (622)
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(503): View more from Oregon

But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"

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(503): But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!" http://tfl.nu/pacv

Replies (0) Good night (1012) Bad night (392)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns

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(703): Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns http://tfl.nu/cgxv

Replies (15) Good night (612) Bad night (350)

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