I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
