Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism http://tfl.nu/1jbk
  Replies (12) Good night (764) Bad night (2603)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him. http://tfl.nu/gqvc
  Replies (13) Good night (877) Bad night (3453)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol. http://tfl.nu/cmai
  Replies (21) Good night (3687) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight. http://tfl.nu/5341
  Replies (8) Good night (603) Bad night (3151)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox. http://tfl.nu/xeau
  Replies (42) Good night (8689) Bad night (4985)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/a558
  Replies (9) Good night (5092) Bad night (1440)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us http://tfl.nu/zowi
  Replies (4) Good night (4475) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours. http://tfl.nu/wqf0
  Replies (15) Good night (2992) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this. http://tfl.nu/d3gm
  Replies (6) Good night (2405) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation. http://tfl.nu/dnza
  Replies (10) Good night (3071) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream. http://tfl.nu/kzw3
  Replies (16) Good night (645) Bad night (2068)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it. http://tfl.nu/2m7b
  Replies (12) Good night (1227) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
  Replies (3) Good night (938) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  In some strange universe, yes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores? (1-662): In some strange universe, yes http://tfl.nu/4gql
  Replies (7) Good night (1663) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though. http://tfl.nu/dlfh
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (1018)

Randomize