Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...

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(317): View more from Indiana

Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.

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(562): View more from California

I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

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(850): View more from Florida

No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"

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(941): View more from Florida

I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.

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(720): View more from Colorado

If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities

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