when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Randomize
