Please, let me fuck your mom
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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