I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
