I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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